i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I know her cup size but not her name....
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