she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize