i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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