I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
