i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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