Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize