Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
