this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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