just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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