i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
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i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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