my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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