they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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