Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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