We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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