is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
