Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
