She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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