Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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