there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
