My girlfriend figured out who you are.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize