Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
