definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
