You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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