i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
