he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
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This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
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Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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