My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Its about making memories worth repressing
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
