NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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