also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
