Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize