Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
