when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
