He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
