I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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