Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize