The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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