dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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