i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
