I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize