i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
