Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
My penis needs a shock collar
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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