Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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