ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
