We're like a lot better than the average bears
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
