Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You are a genius and a whore.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
