The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize