Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
