Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
