hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
