I'd wear matching sweaters with you
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize