By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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