I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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