i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.