Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.

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(720): morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore. http://tfl.nu/srrk

Replies (23) Good night (1122) Bad night (3428)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked

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(815): Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked http://tfl.nu/ct4t

Replies (23) Good night (14266) Bad night (888)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"

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(440): I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!" http://tfl.nu/07u8

Replies (21) Good night (6782) Bad night (964)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick

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(973): I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick http://tfl.nu/xw1l

Replies (41) Good night (1300) Bad night (3883)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...

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(603): the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing... http://tfl.nu/ohtd

Replies (61) Good night (676) Bad night (4327)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.

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(413): i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool. http://tfl.nu/ncnm

Replies (17) Good night (1020) Bad night (4192)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.

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(215): I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk. http://tfl.nu/289e

Replies (12) Good night (4863) Bad night (1232)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...

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(231): I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name... http://tfl.nu/p31n

Replies (9) Good night (4595) Bad night (1254)
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(561): View more from Florida

He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.

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(561): He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line. http://tfl.nu/pwiz

Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (3187)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro

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(215): You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro http://tfl.nu/bhdm

Replies (19) Good night (15648) Bad night (2172)
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(816): View more from Missouri

We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.

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(816): We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly. http://tfl.nu/0x8b

Replies (6) Good night (2116) Bad night (637)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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(708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89

Replies (2) Good night (664) Bad night (409)
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(330): View more from Ohio

easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

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(330): easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL http://tfl.nu/8uqk

Replies (4) Good night (907) Bad night (414)
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(563): View more from Iowa

A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.

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(563): A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night. http://tfl.nu/qzkz

Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (554)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.

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(401): The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball. http://tfl.nu/7ib2

Replies (2) Good night (380) Bad night (164)

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