Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time

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  (650): Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time http://tfl.nu/rwso
  Replies (3) Good night (1376) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

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  (612): from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/b39s
  Replies (27) Good night (764) Bad night (1440)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I think my vagina is haunted

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  (608): I think my vagina is haunted http://tfl.nu/mic0
  Replies (26) Good night (858) Bad night (3234)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like abortions should bother me more

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  (724): I feel like abortions should bother me more http://tfl.nu/zn32
  Replies (32) Good night (1016) Bad night (2601)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious

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  (908): he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious http://tfl.nu/30k1
  Replies (11) Good night (3269) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.

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  (937): just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy. http://tfl.nu/n1q0
  Replies (17) Good night (1359) Bad night (5744)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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  (704): He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza. http://tfl.nu/a4a2
  Replies (8) Good night (1011) Bad night (2800)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.

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  (270): I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut. http://tfl.nu/p9pu
  Replies (17) Good night (1031) Bad night (2278)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.

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  (303): I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower. http://tfl.nu/2fah
  Replies (8) Good night (1064) Bad night (2849)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.

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  (+44): If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse. http://tfl.nu/1ru8
  Replies (6) Good night (1392) Bad night (2186)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  This is going everywhere on the internet.

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  (505): TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES (1-505): This is going everywhere on the internet. http://tfl.nu/lcfu
  Replies (8) Good night (3080) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.

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  (303): What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad. http://tfl.nu/nd1v
  Replies (12) Good night (2201) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house

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  (503): Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house http://tfl.nu/makx
  Replies (5) Good night (877) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal

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  (831): to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal http://tfl.nu/c7f7
  Replies (5) Good night (540) Bad night (1197)
• Favorite

  (+42): View more from

  I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.

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  (+42): I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico. http://tfl.nu/klt7
  Replies (0) Good night (556) Bad night (148)

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