Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(520): View more from Arizona

I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.

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(520): I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs. http://tfl.nu/4glk

Replies (8) Good night (3090) Bad night (687)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.

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(678): Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth. http://tfl.nu/d54p

Replies (9) Good night (3684) Bad night (1260)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.

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(612): is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused. http://tfl.nu/sovs

Replies (100) Good night (1249) Bad night (6028)
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(613): View more from Ontario

i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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(613): i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice. http://tfl.nu/jk56

Replies (29) Good night (5944) Bad night (1535)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star

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(202): you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star http://tfl.nu/tu9p

Replies (11) Good night (3791) Bad night (1204)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.

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(907): I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized. http://tfl.nu/0yaa

Replies (12) Good night (3738) Bad night (1092)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....

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(910): there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time.... http://tfl.nu/4vkt

Replies (7) Good night (3095) Bad night (1344)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.

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(203): I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed. http://tfl.nu/np6x

Replies (5) Good night (1901) Bad night (974)
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(260): View more from Indiana

If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?

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(260): If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok? http://tfl.nu/erl3

Replies (3) Good night (1574) Bad night (647)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.

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(717): I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing. http://tfl.nu/wa5t

Replies (3) Good night (503) Bad night (407)
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(443): View more from Maryland

He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian

(443): View more from Maryland

And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?

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(443): He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian (443): And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun? http://tfl.nu/mgrv

Replies (0) Good night (695) Bad night (303)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night

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(412): i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night http://tfl.nu/3wkg

Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (366)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.

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(402): There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans. http://tfl.nu/d410

Replies (4) Good night (962) Bad night (401)
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(630): View more from Illinois

His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.

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(630): His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems. http://tfl.nu/62qd

Replies (1) Good night (1103) Bad night (363)
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(850): View more from Florida

I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.

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(850): I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman. http://tfl.nu/btmi

Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (193)

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