Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
kristin has been a bad kristin
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
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If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot