I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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