friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
