just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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