My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
